| i am in one of those moods where i cant sleep because i'm super overwhelmed, but at the same time i know i'm just overwhelmed mostly because i'm tired and i need to sleep.
i'm on vacation in montana right now and i'm heading back to utah tomorrow. before i left for vacation, my boss at the music store told me that i was going to get promoted. he said that some other people might be interested in the position so they would still have to do interviews and stuff but that i pretty much had the job. then, i was facebook chatting with him earlier this evening and he was all..."things have been hectic here this past week...two new management positions have opened up and there are 7 people who are interested." then he listed the 7 people. and all of these people are extremely capable. one of them is actually a shoo-in because he used to be a manager and then he wasn't because he went back to school but now he's back. and i SHOULD be the other shoo-in but now i'm totally doubting myself and i'm kind of freaking out about it. when, i shouldn't be! i mean, if i didn't get the promotion...so what? i'm looking for another job anyway. i love my job completely but i don't make enough money and i need a second source of income. it would be much harder to maintain two jobs if i were a manager at the music store, i think. just because...my availability would need to be really open. but...wow, i really want to be a manager. i love that store. i love my coworkers. i think i bring a lot to the table. i think what's freaking me out is that now i feel like i'm totally competing with my friends over this promotion and i hate that kind of competition. i think that i will get promoted. JD also told me tonight that he was going to secretly help me during the interview process. i bet he says that to all the potential managers. :)
ok, not only that, but i totally got waaaaay too drunk a couple nights ago and sent some pretty ridiculous text messages to this cashier at the store who i've gone on a couple dates with. i was just really obviously drunk and i started talking to her and then she asked me if it was weird for me that she still has a crush on this guy that we work with and i said no, but then i just started saying all this stupid stuff about him... and, i don't even think that she and i are really compatible at all but now she thinks that i think we are and... well this isn't really going anywhere interesting but it was really embarrassing. which is stupid to be worried about because, it'll all blow over within a week and it probably has ALREADY blown over except for in my head, but still.
aaaaaaand i'm running out of money. and i don't have a place to live when i get back. i have a week to find a new place. and seriously, this second job thing is stressing me out. i feel like i'm working all the time as it is. i don't want to quit my job at the music store but i seriously need to make more money. ughhghghghg i hate money!
maybe i will be able to go to sleep now?
oh, yeah, and i found out today that my dog has cancer. boo. i think that's probably the worst news.
what a debbie downer i am!
i really am pretty happy, for the most part. besides all the stress right now. my job is the best ever. my friends are my coworkers/managers and they are the best ever. utah sucks and mormons suck (dont get me started on mormons) but i have carved a niche for myself there. im dating, kind of. not really. trying to put myself out there, though. i had a girlfriend for awhile. i broke up with her in january and it was a really terrible experience. but i learned a lot. bleh, yeah...i don't know what else. | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment   |
| God! The Blow. The Blow The Blow The Blow. Is making sweet, sweet love to my soul.
I'm making it my life goal to meet and befriend Khaela Maricich.
This will be accomplished on May 25th at Sasquatch.
Other bands that consistently make me cream my pants =
Mogwai, Sunset Rubdown, the Microphones, and Y.A.C.H.T.
Among others.
But mostly The Blow.
I am so excited for Sasquatch. Did I mention on here that SARAH SILVERMAN IS HOSTING? Have I even talked about Sasquatch at all? It's a music festival in Washington. It's kind of, like, the Coachella of the Northwest. The headliners this year are Bjork, The Beastie Boys, The Arcade Fire, and Spoon. None of which I am interested in at all (except Spoon).
Bands playing that I AM interested in...
THE BLOW!!!
Mirah
Minus the Bear
Citizen Cope
M.I.A.
Grizzly Bear
Neko Case
Aqueduct
The Thermals
SARAH FUCKING SILVERMAN. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| I'm trying to decide whether or not to visit Austin over spring break. My family is going to Victoria, BC. Which is my favorite city. And if I were to go with them, this would be a free trip. Of course, if I went to Austin, I'd have to pay for everything. The choice seems obvious. But I REALLY think I should go visit Austin before I move there. I've been trying to convince my parents to just come to Austin with me but they both hate Texas with a passion.
I applied to be Arlan's lesbian of the day. We'll see if that works out.
Have I promoted my music to all of you yet? I think I get nervous doing that with my LJ friends because I really like all of you and I care what you think.
If you are interested, you can listen to my music at
http://www.myspace.com/alisatterleemusic
If you do listen to it, leave me a comment and let me know what you think. Music would be the reason I am moving to Austin. So if you think that I suck and will never succeed in the Austin music scene, then please speak now so that I do not move all the way to Texas only to completely embarrass myself. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | this is embarrassing but i'm TOTALLY into the weho girls on youtube. ugh. they're terrible actors with terrible storylines and retarded drama. i'm so hooked. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Tags: | first song, jessica | | Current Music: | i'm so atlanta - i married my highschool sweetheart | | Current Location: | work | | Time: | 09:43 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/thoughtful.gif) nostalgic |
|
| the first girl i ever wrote a song about just got in touch with me.
nobody really knew where she was for like two years.
i'm definitely not into her anymore. but still, i spent a lot of time having a crush on her back in the day. so it was nice to hear her voice.
i wonder if i can find someone with a copy of that song. i don't remember how to play it. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| i don't know if any of you are familiar with the website www.learningtoloveyoumore.com but it's like, my favorite thing ever.
it's created by Miranda July (the director and star of Me and You and Everyone We Know) and they have these assignments posted on there for anyone to do that are meant to enrich your life or whatever.
anyway, so, assignment #37 is to "write down a recent argument". when i saw that assignment, my mother and i had JUST had an argument in her kitchen about some cheese. so i wrote it down and sent it in to the website. now, assignment number 38 is to reenact someone else's argument from number 37. about 15 minutes ago, i decided to go and see if, by chance, someone had actually acted out my argument and THEY HAD! it's sooo cool! so, you guys should go check it out.
http://www.learningtoloveyoumore.com/reports/38/johnson_ali.php | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | none | | Current Location: | work | | Subject: | dubya t f | | Time: | 04:19 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/sad.gif) depressed |
|
| i'm getting REAL tired of baking cookies.
also getting tired of wanting to get high. (which fluctuates). it used to be, i would want to get high really bad, and then i would do it, i would get caught, and then i would have no desire to get high for quite a long time (several months). recently, the cycle has continued exactly the same, minus the actual getting high. if i can get through the part where i really want to get high, it passes. and i have an even longer period where i actively desire to be sober. right now i'm in one of those "i want to get high so fucking bad right now" funks. i think it's because everyone is back in town. slash...i'm doing nothing with my life.
ok, so, tomorrow. i have the day off. i will start doing something productive. i will go work out. and then i will go christmas shopping. and then i will work on the film. and then plan out a budget for the amsterdam trip next summer (which i'm doing primarily because i want go smoke marijuana legally. right-o. maybe i should scratch the amsterdam trip. or i'll turn it into a "europe" trip. and only spend a few days in amsterdam, legally smoking reefer.)
i'm downloading the hilarious episode of Celebrity Paranormal Project with Debra Wilson, who supposedly got posessed while filming the show.
which was...SO funny. like, you wouldn't believe how dramatic this woman is. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| i love it when people are in happy, loving, healthy relationships. because it means that those exist, and that it is possible i will be in one at some point.
i was so awake and refreshed when i woke up this morning, but the rest of the day i've been unbelievably tired.
chandra and i recently had an extremely flirty conversation that turned into a hostile and negative conversation. it was very weird and i think we probably should stop hanging out all together. our personalities don't mesh.
i'm lonely tonight. my brother is gone. i don't feel like partying. i wish i had cable. it's one of those nights. where some tv would just be nice.
i get to see sarah and colleen tomorrow night so that's cool. i'm excited. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | regina spektor - us (whoa this song is fucking good) | | Current Location: | my room | | Time: | 09:34 pm |
|
| i really should be getting ready for work right now. blah. i'm sick of it (work).
i drank with brandi and her friend renae last night. ben and james came over.
we played king's cup, and consequently, all found out that brandi has hooked up with a chick. but she refused to talk about it. i'm intrigued. i'll get more info out of her. she kept trying to hit on ben but he wasn't having it. which was funny. girls seriously throw themselves at him and he doesn't do anything about it. he has GOT to be gay. everyone got really drunk except ben and i, so we cuddled up on charlie's bed and watched 30 Rock until 7:00 in the morning. then woke up at 10. i am surprisingly not tired at all.
seriously though, work in 20. fuuuuck.
also seriously, i need to get out of montana and find some lezbos. because there's like two in this town. one of them is me. and the other one is chandra.
6 months in this apartment. save some money. then i can move wherever i want to. (this is what i keep telling myself) | | comments: 10 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | feeeelings | | Time: | 01:46 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/worried.gif) anxious |
|
| i just got REALLY nervous and strange-feeling all of a sudden for no reason at all.
i kind of feel like i am high on marijuana and something terrible is about to happen. like i am being chased by a cop car or my parents are going to drug test me but at the same time i am kissing a really beautiful girl.
it's kind of awesome and shitty at the same time. it's a feeling i don't get very often, so it makes me feel alive. but it's not very comfortable. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | a light on a hill - margot and the nuclear so and so's | | Time: | 05:06 am | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/angry.gif) frustrated |
|
| i made a new gay-boy friend today named Jason. he recently moved here from florida and has no friends.
he didn't immediately strike me as someone with tons of personality, but he's cute. i like him.
it makes me uncomfortable that the gay community here in the flathead is so obsolete. it's like people really feel like they have to hide it. maybe not so much in whitefish, but definitely in kalispell. i'd really like to start a community GSA or something along those lines. There is NO place for GLBT teens or adults to go and feel like they fit in around here. | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | michael buble (work music) | | Current Location: | work | | Subject: | party time | | Time: | 08:37 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/hyper.gif) excited |
|
| PARTY TIME, BITCHES!
in...approximately 3.5 hours, that is. after i get off stupid work.
i am excited.
uh, i kind of hope there's a lot of people there. so that i don't look lame and unpopular. but also, if there's too many people then there's a chance that it will get busted. so not too many people.
i'm downloading season 3 of the office on my computer. little bit obsessed with that show. | | comments: 4 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | bees - animal collective | | Current Location: | the hotel | | Subject: | ramblings. | | Time: | 10:01 pm | | Current Mood: | anxious |
|
| it's halloween and i'm at work. mannnn.
season 3 of the L Word and my tegan and sara DVD came in the mail today. i don't know why i ordered season 3 of the l word. i've already have all of the episodes on my computer except for one of them. and it's a terrible season. i guess i'm just THAT addicted.
i let a schizophrenic columbian mail-order bride into the hotel like three nights ago and last night i had a dream that i got fired for it. then i came into work today and my boss wasn't angry at all. she just thought it was funny.
it's my birthday tomorrow. i'm excited for thursday (official celebration day). ben and i are going to see The Departed and then my parents are taking us out to the Cuban restaurant. huckleberry mojitos and grilled corn, here i come.
i've been meaning to call chandra for the past week or so. i've been slacking on maintaining our friendship.
going to the play at FVCC with zeb on friday (i think? is that still on? i guess i should call him too.)
so, my neighbor is COMPLETELY crazy. like, it's starting to freak me out.
fuck i'm supposed to call mindy ulvilla tonight also. i really don't want to hang out with her. tonight. some other time would be ok.
cody is having a halloween party at our apartment tonight. i just called him and it sounds ridiculous. like, it was SO loud. which worries me. and he said there were only 7 people there. i was like "what the fuck? how can 7 people be THAT loud?"
I'M SO EXCITED TO GO HOME AND WATCH THE TEGAN AND SARA DVD! | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mynewslang's journal![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/smile.gif){kind=small}
amused![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/smileys/tired.gif){kind=small}
tired
